[x]

Secrets.."We're just friends"
You say these words again and again
Because everyone is convinced,
That we are girlfriends.
You laugh it off,
"Oh yea, as if!"
I laugh along
But you don't notice that it's cold.
You don't pay attention to
The pounding of my heart
When you rest your head on my chest.
You don't feel my fingers tremble
When they meet your skin.
You don't notice my breathing
When your tongue slithers over my neck.
You fall asleep in my arms,
So you don't feel my lips
Brush slightly against your ear
And what's more, you don't hear
When I whisper,
"I love you"
You mumble something from your dreams
And just as I think I ma

My story...I always felt I was different, but it was when I reached secondary school that I really started to feel like an outcast. Stupid little things started to get me down. I was constantly thinking about my sexuality, beating myself up over the thought that I was "different" and "not normal". I felt like an alien.

Finally I got the courage to tell two close friends I was bi. I didn't tell them about my true sexuality straight away, I was terrified, terrified that they would reject me. They seemed quite accepting though.

Then I met my first girlfriend, a brilliant girl who wasn't afraid to show everyone who she was. She lived quite far away. I did

What am I doing?She's the impossible one, always just out of reach.
She's beautifully addictive.
She makes my mind twist and turn each which way!
She push's me away because she's unattainable, but pulls me back in when I try to spend some time apart.
I want her but I can't have her!
Did I choose to get to know her becuase I know she belongs to another?
She wants to build me up, but will she knock me back down when I get there?
I know im falling, but my half hearted attempts at stopping myself are pitiful.
Why would I want to stop myself, she holds the power to make me feel alive again!
I fear I will never got to hold her, touch her face, run my fing

Born I'm To BeI cannot help for what born I'm to be,
I'm different from them; that's they all can see.
They think they are right by trying to tame,
      Why might I choose this persona they blame?

Why it would matter if were this a choice?
Am I too small to present my own voice?
They have no right to speak for my speech,
      Rude manners those are, no care to not breach.

Love is not narrow, but they ruin our cheer;
      Their hatred is horrid; closed minds open fear.
They must drown in sadness to force on it others,

It would never be enoughI could stare at your sleeping face for hours and never get tired.
I could lay in your arms always and I would never get bored.
I could bathe in your warmth for eternity and it would never be too hot.
I could love you forever and it would never be enough.

You are so deep in my skin; I feel your presence when you come near.
My whole body wishes to be beside you.
And when it is, to be closer still.

You are in my every thought. My every dream.

Why is it like this?

There have been others.

And to be perfectly and utterly honest, more than I can count.

But now.

It's just you.

I can't get you out of my mind and I never want to!

Be

ChainsChains

A girl of 11
she is confused
for she has been brought up
to belive this was wrong
but yet here she was
kissing her first girlfriend
for the first time

At home she cries her self to sleep
knowing what her mother would do to her
not only would her wings be cut
but her spirit would be smothered

A year passes of confusion and worrying
a year of secrets
of lies
she was sick of it

she tells her mom at the age of 12
she is slapped for the first time
possessions taken away
friends are now suspects
she is now cast in chains
but she fights through it for the girl she loved

that girl breaks her heart
cheats on her
with he

MomentsI am five years old.

The boys in my class have just been teasing me about my last name. It is, unfortunately and a little ironically, Gaye. I'm at my desk crying while my first grade teacher talks to the boys in the hall. My best friend Garrett sits down next to me and tells me that I shouldn't cry because my name is spelled different than "the bad kind". I stop crying because I find that strangely comforting. But the heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach doesn't go away.

I am eight years old.

I'm reading a book from my favorite book series, the Alice series by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor. The book series started out age appropriately enough

A Thousand Untold LiesMy mask.
My disguise.
It hides the truth,
To a thousand untold lies.
The assumption.
That's the way it's always been.
So that is the way it must be.
And I don't object.
Because through my mask,
It's hard to see.
I can't tell what's true
And what isn't reality.
So I hide.
Behind my disguise.
It hides the truth,
To a thousand untold lies.
I have the right to remain silent.
There are no lies in the quiet.
And should a word be spoken,
Every truth shall be broken.
You all would see,
Whatever you once believed of me,
Was never as it seemed.
You could call me a liar, sure.
But I said no such thing.
I simply let you believe

One Shot: Love Conquers AllLove story

She walked toward her friend smiling widely. Was there ever any doubt they would be inseparable for the years to come?

Kira stopped mid step when she saw the black figures approaching her friend from behind her. "Vitania! Watch out!"

Vitania turned with her bat ready to strike whoever was going to her. But before she could swing, a hand flew across her cheek making her fly off to the side groaning in pain.

'You fucking bastards!' Kira screamed and drawing her own bat threw herself at them, swinging in rage hitting all she could hit.

But they were strong. They kept standing up and fighting back. Kira threw a frantic look toward

and souri've taken this habit of reading
the same poem over and over again
just because i need to tell myself
that i don't make all of this up.

baby, i would have had you, trust me.
my senses would've abandoned everyone;
i wouldn't care what they would say -
i'm so tired of hiding.

i'm so tired of lying.
(no. i'm not okay.)

i've taken this habit of crying
the same tears over and over again
just because i'm that pathetic and
my chemistry homework looked dry.

i can't get rid of the image:
you, safe and happy in my arms
and a dick between

Darkest TemptationDarkest Temptation

They say that my love for her is a sin.
Who are they to Preach about the heart.
The heart that beats with love for my
Darkest temptation with love for my sweet
angel of Darkness.

Her eyes blind me to the world.
Her scent binds me to her skin.
May my love for her never die.
May her Dark essence never leave
me for my heart would slowly die
prolonged suffering would ensue.

Their taunts enrage me so.
Their eyes hold nothing but hatred
for our everlasting light. The assassins knife,
the hellish nightmare of betrayal shears
the soul Shattering our light our love.
The oblivion that is separation stret

my storyWhen I look at you all I see is shame. I see myself ,
classed and judged as the whore the street walker, all because I believed in love,
I look at you and I see mistrust.

and you know what? why does it matter what happened back then?
Today is now and yesterday is gone, I can't change what happened and neither
can you ,with snide looks or whispered disappointment.

Maybe that's why I can't tell you,
I can't ever tell just how I feel

Being with her is the most natural thing in the world,
It feels right and perfect, different from what
I felt for him , better maybe even.

telling you would give you another reason to look on me with disg

Rays of LightRays of Light

I see the dust
as it falls in the rays of light

they are tiny but free
the light streams in
right through the cracks of the closet door

I can taste it
the freedom
its so close
yet out of my reach

the silk cloth that binds me
to the confines of this small room
it chaffes my skin
every time i pull away

wispers sprout from the other side
i try to call out
no sound

i remeber what it was like to be free
it was fun and game
innocence of a child

but i also rember being forced in to this closet
the second i got out
only to be pushed in
again and again

The wispers continue
wispers of hope
they come with the ligh

One of Them You know, I never was "one of them". I never wanted to be. Even before I came out, I wasn't one of the pack. Not that I was a loner. Not by a long shot. It's just that I didn't conform to any one, except my closest of friends. As usual when someone comes out, my life changed. But that part didn't. At least, not during school.

But then I moved out. I found a job. I got myself caught up in the larger world (id say real world, but that seems to encompass less than the larger world). I found work, (a real shock, considering our unemployment rate) at a local Home Depot, a store I had patronized for quite some time and was happy to find myself

All Is Fair In Love and War"She looks so… depressed." A group of college students cluster around a fountain outside the cafeteria on a beautiful spring afternoon, all staring at the girl who eats her lunch alone.

"Well, wouldn't you be? Honestly if I were her I would have taken the day off…" If the group thought they were being subtle, they were sorely mistaken. The hushed voices they were trying too hard to use really weren't working and their subject was getting impatient with their poor attempt at tact. She had thought that college was supposed to be past petty gossip, that a girl could actually keep her secrets around here. But no, because it was private

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PlungedHollowed eyes and unapologetic skies
Shadowing a sea of melancholia.
The echoed screams of the swallowed shore
Thunder and bellow
A distress.
Foreboding fog ghosts over the layered monotony
Casting a dim glow to the skeletons
Of the frostbitten delilah.
She heaves and writhes
And aches,
Venal in her own plight.
Lacuna salvages battered breath,
A glimpse of flooding skies.

DryIvory veins
Mutilated and stained.
Drained of existence
Overflowing with pain.

Beckoning BladeDo you miss me
And my metallic bite?
Do you miss me
Numbing lonely nights?
Do you miss me
And the solace I give?
Do you miss me
Or a reason to live?

DreamerWords written on sand are washed away by waves.
Syllables scribbled on the sidewalk never seem to stay.
Love is only temporary,
Hope is lost contemporary.
Should I trust the storyteller or the dream weaver?

SuicideTighten the noose
Surrender your breath
Welcome the silence
Six feet closer to death

CasualtyCan you cope with this disaster?
The smoke is rising faster, faster.
Clouding your vision, you can't see.
Obscuring all you mean to me.

Will there be survivors?

Can you withstand this obliterating plague?
Your body is deteriorating and memory is vague.
Corroding and crumbling, you can't breathe.
Asphyxiating your love for me.

Will there be survivors?

Or will you become another victim?

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[x]

Envy is a Dangerous Word

by ~TheAmericanAverage, Dec 10, 2010, 6:49:40 PM
Literature / Poetry / Romantic / Post-Teen (Mature) / Free Verse

High school can be difficult.

The classes,
the homework,
the cliques and cliches,
and the pressure.

Oh, the pressure.
To drink,
to smoke,
to have sex,
to fit in,
to know your direction in life.

Everyone around me as well as I are experiencing them. Yet, I stand alone, left to battle solo with another pressure.

The pressure to come out.

Walk straight on out of the closet, into an unforgiving world consisting of
stereotypes,
discrimination,
dirty looks,
and secret sneers.

I envy those who are not faced with this dilemma. I envy those who do not have to keep secrets and love behind closed doors. Most of all, I envy him.

He, who has her.
He, who can wrap an arm around her waist, freely.
He, who can kiss her, any time he desires to do so.
He, who holds her precious heart.

And I, who never will.

Envy is a Dangerous Wordby ~TheAmericanAverage

Literature / Poetry / Romantic / Post-Teen (Mature) / Free Verse

love 2 2

joy 1 1

~~wow 0 0~~

~~mad 0 0~~

sad 1 1

~~fear 0 0~~

~~neutral 0 0~~

~Klara999 Jun 28, 2011

It's beautiful

and the end is sad.

~TheAmericanAverage Jun 29, 2011

Thank you.

~Scared-For-Life May 28, 2011

That is beautifly writen.

~TheAmericanAverage May 28, 2011

Thank you.

!Netherling Apr 10, 2011 Hobbyist Traditional Artist

This is wonderful.

~TheAmericanAverage Apr 11, 2011

Thank you very much.

~ThermadorianGrey Apr 8, 2011

I'd like to start off by saying that after high school, it gets better, but at the same time it doesn't. Moving on to the actual piece and stuff, I think the lines are pretty hit or miss. The title grabbed my attention right off the bat. The next few stanzas I give credit for directness, but I feel like that particular cluster of words comes off as kind of cliche. I like the couple places you put in somewhat prosaic lines. I feel they do a good job of directing the movement of the piece. I kind of object to the statement that you stand alone in that, because there's a lot of people out there experiencing the same. Unrelatedly, I feel the last line is implied, so you're somewhat overstating it. Your choice if you wanna make any amendments or not, since pieces this personal are often hard to edit. Keep writing, and keep in mind that even though drama, gossip, and prejudice never leave life, soon you'll be way more free to choose who you interact with.

~TheAmericanAverage Apr 8, 2011

Thank you.

~ThermadorianGrey Apr 8, 2011

Any time.

~xXOtakuChanXx Mar 31, 2011 Student Traditional Artist

*SOB* Stuff like this goes on with me, and I'm still in middle school.

EVERYTHIN' IS CRAZY. The minute I said something about my bisexuality, nearly everyone got their own ideas.
"Oh, that's why her hair is short...."
"She never DID have a boyfriend."
"blahblahblah"
One kid keeps calling me "lesbian". *I'm bi, I'm a friggin' HALFSBIAN!*
My parents still don't know. TT.TT
....srry for the long comment. >.>'

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Envy is a Dangerous Word

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